First things first. I am going to spend 2011 selfishly. Selfish in the way that I want to focus on myself, my education, develop my talents, work on my weaknesses, do things that I love, focus on making myself happy, enjoy being independent, and figure out who I am. Here are the first 10 "baby steps" I will take this year:
1. One of my aspirations this year is to keep working on guitar, learn more songs, and write a few of my own. I need to play at least twice a week.
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2. Next is snowboarding. Snowboarding keeps me relaxed, happy, and is very therapeutic for me. There is something about being in nature, gliding down the mountain, listening to Death Cab or The Shins, and feeling truly alive. Snowboarding is one thing that frees me, so I need to make sure I go as often as I can.
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3. Third on the list is to keep up my French. I love love love everything about the language, and I dont want to lose the skills I already have. I need to keep reading my French books (Twilight in French, L'estrangere, French slang book). I should look into buying Harry Potter in French too (= Also, I can watch movies in French or with French subtitles...this actually helps a lot, because I get the grammar, pronunciation, and vocab all in one. I wish I could find someone to speak it with...
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4. Start learning Japanese. This is ambitious, but I eventually want to learn it, so I can start small this year, and even just learn basic words and phrases. I bought a computer program called Human Japanese that can help me learn a lot, so I better use it! Once I graduate, I can focus on learning the language more.
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5. Make myself look pretty everyday. I have a tendency to get lazy and frequently go in public without makeup on, in sweats. I need to at least look cute when I go out anywhere...even if its just to the grocery store. I don't have to go all out everyday and do prom hair/makeup, but at least spend 30 minutes getting cute. I feel much better about myself when I take time to look good. Along with this is using skin creams every night that will make my skin prettier. I need to take better care of my skin (wear SPF 50, use moisturizer and skin brightening creams...etc. ) Every night I need to wash my makeup off (i fall asleep with makeup on a lot), and apply my skin brightening cream, which makes my skin prettier, which equals a more confident me, which equals a more happy me :)
6. Find beauty products I love. I am always on the hunt for the best makeup. I already found a mascara i LOVE and will buy forever...it's Dior Ionic Curling Mascara. Currently I also love Maybelline's Unstoppable eyeliner. Now I just need to find the perfect foundation, blush, and bronzer. Also experiment with eye shadow, because I always wear dark brown, but I want to try new colors and blends of colors.
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7. Do nice things for other people, and complement them sincerely. I want to look for opportunities to do nice things for other people, even if it's as simple as holding the door for a handicapped person or cooking for a roommate. I am so self absorbed and in a hurry most of the time, and I don't even notice the people around me. Along the same lines, I want to give genuine complements to people more often. This will help me see the positive and goodness in other people, instead of the flaws, which is what i tend to focus on.
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8. Laugh more. Laughter is a rainbow for my current dimly lit soul! To accomplish this, I can watch arrested development, Bonquiqui on youtube, looking at pictures of Maverick, watch She's the Man (favorite comedy movie ever), inside jokes with Maddie (i love that me and her have the same sense of humor, and we find really weird things hilarious that most people wouldn't find funny...). And laugh at myself more...make jokes out of bad things that happen to me. This actually happens a lot when I talk to mom on the phone, and we both end up laughing because my life is actually quite comedic.
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9. Play sports more and follow my favorite sports teams. Angels in baseball, Titans in football, and Jazz in basketball....and of course the Cougars in all of those too! I would kill to play basketball more, but I have a hard time finding time, a court, and someone to play with. I LOVE basketball, flag football, and volleyball intramurals here at BYU....I played on my ward's girls basketball team 2 years ago.... but since then I can never find any girls that want to play basketball or football! Lame!!! And when fall semester comes around this year, I will do everything I can do form an intramural team! I gotta start asking around in mid August. But anyways basketball is more of a thing to work on over the summer when I am not in school. Also the batting cages. I went with mom and Maddie a few times this summer, and it was such a good way to get my anger and frustration out! And my batting improves...so it's perfect! I should throw the football around with dad too when I go home this summer.
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10. Learn Adobe photoshop. I absolutely love taking beautiful photos, and editing them. I learned the basics about photoshop in one of my high school classes, but I have completely forgotten everything. I remember having so much fun in that class working on pictures the whole time. Right now I just use the basic editing program that comes with my laptop, and it pretty much only lets me change tone and color of pictures. But seriously, I could spend hours taking and editing photos. It is just so fun. BYU offers free photoshop classes, so I will try to take one in the fall....I am just too busy this semester. And I need to save up to buy photoshop and a good camera. This will go on my summer "to do" tab.
I don't want to overwhelm myself, but these are things I can slowly work on to be an overall happier and more complete human being.
On a side note, I need to remember to concentrate on the present, and not worry so much about the future. I am wasting away precious moments in daily life when I let anxious thoughts of the future interrupt my ability to enjoy and accomplish things in the present. This idea was mentioned at a BYU devotional a few weeks ago. Great advice for me!
On another side note, I need to start looking into opportunities to go to France or Japan when i graduate...whether it be teaching english, study abroad, internship, nursing opportunity...ANYthing.
The picture today is one of me without makeup on, unedited, and taken today. Sure the lighting helped cover a few flaws, but this is a good one to post first, since this blog is going to be all about the real me, unmasked, unfeigned, as I begin the long arduous journey on discovering who I am.
peace love and rockets!,
<3 Brinley
